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We’re living in the era of ‘main character syndrome’. But what if we’re just not that important? | Róisín Lanigan

A little self-awareness isn’t a bad thing, but the advice of Jemima Kirke is right – we might be thinking about ourselves too much

Jemima Kirke might be best known for her roles in Sex Education and Girls, but those who really have their finger on the pulse know her best work is not done on screen but rather on Instagram, where she performs as a sometime agony aunt for her 630,000 followers. Occasionally, Kirke will dispense esoteric advice on her platform, billing it as “free therapy, ask me anything” – on everything from open relationships (“too many serious conversations”) to being the cool girl (“completely ignore your needs, boundaries and intuition”).

One nugget of wisdom in particular has resonated for me: in November 2022, asked for advice for “unconfident young women”, Kirke uploaded an expressionless selfie with the caption, “I think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much.”

Róisín Lanigan is a freelance writer and the author of I Want To Go Home But I’m Already There, to be published in March 2025

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