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A Christmas that changed me: the spliff was as big as a parsnip – and Granny got stoned

Until you have watched a woman in an elasticated girdle discuss horse racing with a gambler called Lamb Chop, frankly, I don’t think you’ve really celebrated

The best family Christmas I ever had was with another family. I mean, my family were there too – some of them. But they weren’t the highlight.

The highlight was watching my 93-year-old, home counties, tweed skirt, dry-sherry-and-the-Daily-Express grandmother get passively stoned while talking to a semi-professional gambler by the name of Lamb Chop.

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